Sorry but this is gonna take awhile - We just lost our little girl Lea on 3/27/09 and I just don't know how to move on.  Lea was born 6/3/89 and was diagnosed with PKD in February 2008.  On Friday, 3/20/09 I had to take her in because she had a terrible infection in her last remaining bottom tooth.  Poor baby had to have the last of her 4 teeth removed but she came through the surgery so well!  We brought her home on 3/21/09 and had to syringe feed her and give antibiotics.  She was doing great when I took her to the vet for daycare on Monday.  Each day her mouth healed from the surgery but her little kidneys couldn't take anymore.  She seemed really great when we brought her home Thursday afternoon but as the night progressed you could tell she wasn't doing well.  She had developed fluid build up in her abdominal cavity but we all hoped that she would reabsorb it.  No such luck, on Friday morning we could tell she was on her way out.  She had her little routines with me and my husband and Thursday she gave us each one more round of them.  Thursday night it was just her and I downstairs, her on her bed and me on the couch.  She gave me a little Lea talk to get my attention and when I looked at her she was looking right at me with her head raised.  She laid her head back down but brought it right back up.  I knew then she wanted me to lay on her big pillow with her.  Right after I settled down behind her she jumped up, spun around and laid back down face to face with me.  The next morning she gave my husband 10 minutes of purrs before he left for the day and before her and I left for the vet daycare she gave me another meow.  It wasn't really meow in that sound but a sound I'd never heard and I really knew this was it.  The doctor had said when it's time she will tell you.  We went to the vet and 1/2 an hour later we knew it was time.  Lea had only been peeing 2 times during the night but Thursday night there was no pee anywhere.  She could barely walk or even stand.  Later that day we did the only thing we could.  I don't regret doing that for her.  Lea was such a fighter.  She never weighed more than 7 pounds.  Lea was born not breathing so needed help to come into the world.  Her little heart was too strong for her so in the end she needed help going out too.  I miss her so much.  I can't be in the living room anymore when I'm home alone. Our vet gave us a little case with some of her fur in it.  I couldn't let go of that until today.  I just couldn't take her to work with me.  We also received a nice little book about saying goodbye to our friend along with a beautiful card with a lengthy note from the vets with flowers delivered in person on Sat.  We are having her cremated and expect to get her back tomorrow.  I need to find the perfect urn and find a place to get some pictures developed that I have on a thumb drive.  She was my baby and I'm absolutely heartbroken not to be able to hold her anymore.  Lea brought so much to our lives I hope she knows that.  She was so beautiful inside and out.  I hope someday I can give another kitty love like that and hope I find the kitty that wants me the same way.  I want to post pictures of her but can't seem to figure it out - my brain is like mush.  I have no appetite and even if I eat it's out of pressure to do so.  God the pain of loss is so heavy.  I'm lucky that I have a few people around me that understand but to talk to them about my loss only saddens them from memories of their own.  At times I feel okay that I can cope but then something happens or said between my husband and I that her absence becomes so apparent.  I never thought I would see my husband react the way he did through all this.  I love him so much because of that.  He was as kind and loving with her as I was.  Often times it seems that men don't bond with kitties like women do but if you could have seen the two of them together......and my husband is a real manly man.  We were so blessed to have her as our baby and only "child".   We miss you Lea, we love you so much baby!  We hope you are having all the favorite people foods you can get!

Kimberly, you and your husband have my sincere condolences on the loss of your precious Lea.  We went through something similar with Sasha.  I understand how profound your loss is, and I will keep you and your husband in my thoughts.

RIP sweet Lea. :flower:

Oh Kimberly, I am so sad to read your post. Lea sounds like she was your kitty soul mate. It has been awhile since I lost a pet...I can remember what you are feeling but know how much stronger it is...especially after only a few days...

We are here for you whenever you need us. We would love to see her pictures when you can.

I am sending my best wishes to you and your husband :heart:

RIP Lea :flower:

I am so sorry. RIP Lea :cry:

I am very sorry for your loss of dear sweet Lea. She sounds like a wonderful furbaby. I know you have a horrible hole in your heart & you will for a long time. I still think about my DSH that went to the rainbow bridge in 2002 at the age of 20 yrs.  I grew up with her so it was heart wrenching to let her go.  Lea will be waiting for you & she is playing with all of our furbabies that have gone before her!

Shamrock, ~k~, Sasha Elizabeth, Daisy Chain, "Embrace", Cleonjay,Kissakatje,WhispersDream,& Arlene

Thank you all so much for you kind words and understanding.  It's so good to have a place to come to and express yourself - even your most gut wrenching emotions.

I want to express my appreciation for all the efforts our vets entire office made for Lea.  Those people are the best.  From the girls up front to the Drs, each one of them made me feel that they really care for all animals.  Their understanding and compassion was amazing!  The extra touch of sending flowers and a beautiful handwritten card was wonderful to receive the day after.  If or when we get another little fuzzface I am for sure going back to them.

Embrace -

I've seen others who have lost pets react so emotionally when they found out what we have been through because they too have been lost a cherished companion.  We say I'm sorry to each other because we make each other cry but then say it's ok because it's good to have someone feel the same and not judge.  

My girl never weighed more than 7 - 8 pounds.  We thought we had the tiniest Persian!  I'm so sorry your girl was lost when she was only 6.  I too have sobbed against the shower wall.  I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs but didn't want to upset my husband more.  He's feeling the loss of Lea like me but he's also hurting when he sees me hurting.

Pain, shock, anger and despair are all the things I feel.  At times I feel happy remembering Lea but that just leads to hurt of not having her by side.  

I hope Lea is with your girl too!

Rest in Peace dear Lea.
 Kimberly, I can't say a word that will make you feel better right now, and believe me I understand. Time will pass but your little 4 pounds of love will always be in your thoughts and heart. :heart: